Why coming back may be abortive

[philippos42]

I was thinking about why I don't post here, or even read this friends page. The funny thing is, there's really not that much for me here now. I was thinking it was about who I was trying to be, but maybe it was about where I was & what I was surrounded with.

Well, LJ is kind of gone. __marcelo is still there, at least. I don't know who else. And Dreamwidth, at least my corner of it, is largely a kind of fandom space that means much less to me now.

For a long time, some of the people I follow here were really significant in my emotional landscape. I was looking for a kind of connection? Maybe I had to keep up? And yet I have effectively disconnected for years now. Even if I tried to reconnect, that doesn't mean they would care, or indeed ever did.

"She's a redhead and likes Doctor Who," is not a great basis for a relationship, is it? I suppose, "She's into Buffy and Highlander!" isn't either.

Even if I start using this name again, maybe it's just not going to be in this box of "Things that I hung my emotional state on ten years ago."

Comments

[esteefee]

I get that. I mostly use it to categorize things of interest, but my fandoms are so tiny now, I barely get a response anymore. I still get in touch with some friends when I make personal posts, though. It's strange.

[heliopausa]

I'm still on LJ, but I'm more just writing (as I do here) about ordinary life, and passing thoughts about life and things I see or read.
I'm not really fannish about anything in particular, though I retain my fondness for Narnia; part of the trouble is that I never seem to be seeing/reading anything at the same time as anybody else.